Seven years ago, Danielle and Mike Otlin came to San Francisco's Baker Beach to capture a moment they hoped to remember forever.
With the Golden Gate Bridge behind them, they stood hand in hand, taking pregnancy photos and dreaming of the life ahead with their son, Jude.
They couldn't wait to say hello. Instead, they had to say goodbye.
"It was the most devastating thing that I've ever experienced," Danielle Otlin said.
Danielle was in labor when Jude stopped moving. He was delivered stillborn.
"I can remember I just put my head in my hands and I just really couldn't do anything," Mike Otlin said.
The couple's heartbreak didn't begin or end with Jude. They also suffered two miscarriages.
Now, they're back at Baker Beach for the Wave of Light, an annual gathering where families come together to honor and remember the babies they've lost.
"It feels like we're having a special ceremony to celebrate them," Danielle said.
And they're far from alone.
According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, at least one in 10 known pregnancies ends in miscarriage. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that about 21,000 babies are stillborn in the United States each year — roughly one in every 175 births.
For event organizer La'Zette Smith, the loss is deeply personal. His son, LaSaaun, was stillborn in 2020.
"It was a very tragic and painful and a lot of families don't talk about it," said Smith, who founded the LaSaaun Lives Foundation.
The Wave of Light offers families a place to talk about that grief, honor their children and find comfort in knowing they aren't alone.
Ask Danielle and Mike how many children they have, and they'll tell you four: Stevie, Jude, Buddy, and the one they finally got to bring home, Iris.
Children born after a loss are often called rainbow babies, a symbol of hope after the storm. The Otlins named their daughter after the Greek goddess of the rainbow, who, according to mythology, connected heaven and Earth.
And here, beside the little lights glowing in the sand at Baker Beach, their Iris does just that.
"We were incredibly lucky. We don't ever take it for granted," Danielle said.
To learn more about pregnancy and infant loss awareness, upcoming events and resources for grieving families, visit the LaSaaun Lives Foundation's website at lasaaunlives.org.
